GAH

I haven't written in this in forever...

For those who don't know, I was in Europe for 16 days earlier.

I went to my Aunt's house in Zurich, Switzerland. From there we visited Munich, Paris, Venice, and Luzern. All of which were awesome (Paris wasn't as much, but the Louvre made up for it). My favorite, however, was Zurich.
Such an awesome place...

It was a city, yet, in the middle of it all you could hear birds chirping. I don't know why but that just stuck out to me as awesome...

My Aunt's apartment had a view of Lake Zurich and the Swiss Alps... all the mountains were amazing...

Anyways I was just checking in so I wouldn't have not written for years and years in this thing...

I am going to the Young Writer's Project soon so, when I do, I would love to post my stories on this so they can be judged by the sometimes one person who reads this! Hooray!

Hope you are enjoying your summer so far!

Problems

I have completely re-done my laptop so everything is fresh.

In doing this I lost all of my bookmarks.

In losing those I somehow would always forget I have a blog.

It's been a while, huh?

How've you been? Good? Bad? Well... there's always tomorrow.

I've been stressed about school, finals, and the end of my Sophomore year (where the hell it went I'll never know...)

Going to Europe this summer! Excited/nervous. Pretty awesome.

Question: Under my blog title: "ANACHRONISTIC DISSENSION", is the text super-duper tiny like it is on mine? I don't know how that happened...

Just wondering if my browser settings are funky since I have tinkered with everything, lost it, and am now trying to re-do it all... a lot of work...

Leave a comment or I won't appreciate you! :)

Filler

The following text is merely a filler to show that I haven't died or forgotten about my faithful reader(s).

Comment and tell me what your favorite color is or something, that sounds like fun...

On The Edge

I am on the brink of a panic attack and it is driving me insane.

I haven't had a panic attack since I was thirteen, or somewhere near then...

The reason? I am trying to write an essay for tomorrow (ahem, make that today) and I am finding it incredibly difficult to stay focused when my computer's virus has redeveloped. (I don't know how else to describe it, but I know it never left...)

The computer is going very slow, most likely because of the scanners I have running, and it is way too late for me to be able to focus... all I want to do is sleep.

My heart feels like it is beating really rapidly when it isn't...

In any case this is more of a panic post to try and get my mind back on writing or something, I don't know, maybe I just need to post something even though nobody reads this...

Well, back to writing my essay!

I will be so happy when I can go to sleep tonight... though maybe not, knowing how crappy tomorrow will start out being...

Enslaved Technology (and The Search continues...)

I haven't blogged in a while.

But I have a good reason, so... it's okay. (by the way, my computer doesn't recognize "okay" as an English word... that's pathetic. OK)

My laptop has been taken away by my mother because I have been getting home a few minutes late every day from school, leaving my sister alone after she is dropped off from her school.

I understand the problem but... she would seriously be fine for an entire day home alone, she already feeds herself anyway...

But, yes, I am on the home computer (and the keyboard is really loud and annoying [especially the space bar]) so don't expect a blog until maybe Tuesday, probably later.

Right now I am not really upset that my laptop is taken away, but more peeved at how this morning my mom made me put in my password so that she could use it.

First of all, she didn't buy it for me (excuse me, cat, please get away from the screen I can't see what I am typing), my aunt bought it, so technically she should only use it with my permission (again, cat...) but no, she seems to think that anything that is mine is also hers...

I can't wait until I get it back.

Unfortunately, after I put my password in it took about ten minutes to log in, or at least ten minutes then my mom gave up and probably just put it by her bed for it to die from lack of charge...

I can't trust anyone in my family with valuable electronics... common sense just escapes them or something.

I think the reason it took forever to try and log on is because when my mother demanded it I was downloading an anti-spyware program and running a virus scan.

For her, it took to long for me to try and stop everything and shut it down so I had to just hold the power button.

Who knows, mt whole laptop is probably ----ed.

Fun...

and the best part is I won't be able to find out until Tuesday! Or maybe sooner if my mom lets me use my laptop to type this rough draft of an English paper I have to write... This stupid computer doesn't even have Microsoft Word...

Anyways... I feel like talking about my most recent activities now.

I made an incredibly nerd-tastic chart of all the major colleges in Kansas and Missouri and rated them all according to cost, academics, location, etc.

Predictably, my beloved Washington University in Saint Louis was placed 5th out of the fourteen I rated due solely on the fact that it is the most expensive in every area (but when you look at the others you can kind of understand why...)

This is good, however, because I am trying to shift my focus from WUStL to a broader range of choices, because I know that I won't make it into WUStL anyways... Seriously... 1/1,000,000 chance...

Bay tells me a school's Valedictorian didn't make it in... so what chance do I have? Bah...

Anyways, after rating everything in these two states I found the the College of the Ozarks was the best, given my limited criteria.

One of the criteria, however, is Religious Affiliation.

I really don't want to go to a religious school (especially one where I would be required to take a religious class) and the College of the Ozarks considers students for enrollment based on their faith and loyalty to the religion, so that is out.

After filtering the four I had that would not accept you if you didn't believe in their religion I found a tie for first place, with one looking much better than the other.

Kansas State University and Drury University were the two tied for first place and, because I don't want to be just another Kansan going to a Kansas university I am now looking at Drury University as one of my main focuses.

Also, after looking at all of the crap colleges have sent me over the past months, I am looking into Knox College... though the fact that it is only a college bothers me, yes... I'm weird like that.

Also Knox is fairly expensive for a Liberal Arts college, I think...

I don't know, but thanks for reading my college complaints!

Unless you aren't reading... but then you wouldn't be reading that thanks... so... doesn't matter...

Bye!

Cutting

Lately I have started something that I never thought I would do again for a long time...

It's something I have criticized other people for doing, and is something I might get a lot of shit for tomorrow when all of my friends notice it...

I guess, considering how long it has been since I did it last time, this is sort of overdue, especially with all of the stress I've been dealing with.

I started off being kind of self-conscious about how it looks now, and I've experimented with covering it up, but everything that works looks way too obvious, thus making it look worse.

So I don't really know what to do beyond just letting people notice it if they may...

I think, however, that some strange part of my brain is actually enjoying how it looks... it really gives me a whole different personality...

Those of you that will eventually notice, please don't comment, it'll make me feel better if I think that nobody cares...

I have figured out how to make it look better, though! After a shower I just dry it off and spray this stuff on it and it looks better.

If you have any feelings regarding this please comment below.

P.S. I really hope I had you going there for a while... if I didn't, I apologize.

(I got a haircut)

I Hate American Idol

I've noticed my blogs are getting less and less interesting...

Unfortunately I can't think of anything to spice it up... so, ya know...

deal with it.

I've realized that I could get a whole lot more done if I didn't have to rely on my parents.

What caused me to realize this is when I asked my mother if she could pay for membership in the National Society of High School Scholars (say that five times fast).

I realize now it was a bad idea since American Idol was on and her mind was off, but that doesn't really deserve the frustrated response I got.

The deadline is April 30th, and I felt it looming nearer and nearer, so I wanted to just do it instead of wait and miss out on the opportunity, not being accepted because we couldn't make a simple deadline. I don't know if they would care that much about the deadline but I'd rather not find out.

Her response was a rant on how when I want to do something I just have to have it done right then. Apparently this means that I don't take her time seriously. I don't take her American Idol time seriously.

I hate American Idol...

The sad thing is, since she said she would do it later, I can never ask her to do it again with her being frustrated at me. So, in order for this to be done I will either have to piss her off at the right time or I will have to wait for her to say she will do it, which, according to my experience, will never happen.

You have no idea how frustrating this is.

I want something done, not just any something, but something that could help give me a better future, and she can't be bothered to get her purse and sign a check.

It may sound like I am spoiled, but it has nothing to do with her not wanting to pay the money, it is just not wanting to do anything at the moment. Besides, it is only $45, and gives me the opportunity to receive thousands of dollars in scholarships and a better chance of getting into the college I want to go to.

The possibility of me not getting into the college I want because my mom just didn't feel like it kills me. I don't know, maybe I'm just being dramatic, but I feel like I have a right to be.

I can't help but wonder if I am the only one with parents like this, as all I ever hear about at school are parents that push them, if anything a little too hard, to succeed in life.

I don't doubt that I can get this membership check in, if nothing else I can talk to somebody else in my family to get it done. Knowing that I had to turn to somebody else for something like this might hurt my mom's feelings, but, really, maybe she does need to just wake up and realize that it would only take a minute to write a check, as opposed to yelling at your son for asking for your help.

I don't know, maybe I just expect too much of people.