To Be On Time Is To Be Late

I've recently found out my Orchestra teacher is not returning to my school next year...

For many students the news that their teacher is leaving next year would cause semi-indifferent shrugs or, for some, cheering.

This, however, is not the case with me, nor with my teacher.

This teacher has taught me in Orchestra classes in 5th, 7th, 8th, 9th, and now 10th grade, and he is the only reason I stuck through that one awful year in 6th grade where I was one of only two members (yes... two).

Basically, I go to Orchestra because he teaches it; I enjoy it because he teaches it.

Sure, the ability to help in making great sounds and songs is rewarding, but if it wasn't for him in my earlier Orchestra years I wouldn't be playing today, and he has consistently been one of my favorite teachers throughout the latter of my elementary school years and through junior high school.

A teacher who has made an impact on me such as this is hard to simply shrug off.

I had to keep myself from tearing up during the after-school meeting when he told us just an hour ago.

The strange thing is, however, with my other teachers that I enjoyed I got to know them a little better (I even have my English teacher from Freshman year's phone number), but with him I never really felt a favoring towards me.

Maybe it is just the setting, as sitting and playing an instrument all hour doesn't allow for much chatting time. Maybe he likes to be fair and not show favoritism, maybe it is just because I am too quiet, and am never the one to bring up a joke in class so we can all laugh about it.

The real reason, though, is because I have never really done anything to impress him.

I have never practiced the amount I should have, have never performed very well, and have never really stood out as a great student to him.

Yet, even if he didn't think I was a good Orchestra member, I always thought he was a great teacher.

When we needed to be serious and focused he would make sure we were, and always put in the same amount of energy conducting as he wanted us to put in performing.

He was friendly but not too loose with us, and told funny stories often.

Now, as I realize that I have never amounted to much in his class in terms of performance, I feel deep regret for all those minutes I spent just wasting time when I could have been practicing.

I can barely imagine the feeling I'd have if I had given Orchestra my all throughout and was one of the best performers in my class, being one of the students he could be proud of.

Unfortunately there isn't much time to prove I want to be a great student in his eyes, as the end of the year is rapidly approaching, only about a month left.

This news also raised the issue of if I really wanted to be in Orchestra next year, if I would enjoy it with a different teacher...

After some thought on the way home from school I came up with the same answer I always have when it comes to planning for my future: "You'll regret it if you don't."

So I plan on continuing my Orchestral education through high school, no matter what.

I really want to do something to give to him before he leaves for good... but I don't really know what. Hopefully I will think of something, I don't want to leave him with only a simple "goodbye"...

P.S. The title of the blog refers to something he would tell us often about arriving at concerts and rehearsals, "To be on time is to be late." Beyond the literal meaning I have found that the little extra effort that you give earlier makes it easier in the long run, and that we really should plan for our futures sooner...